Monday, 5 June 2017
She started again,
With new hope and new dream,
After release from rehab, she changes her identity.
Change her name, change her look, remove to another country.
And hopefully, she can change her life story too.
She want to finish her school,
Get a good job,
get a new family.
A family that she dreams off,
every single day.
Lucy miss her mother, Mrs. Amanda.
bubble cloud popup from her head,
recall all memories that they create together.
sweet later it changes to pain.
Plup plup plup
the bubble exploded.
she shakes her head. Now
She arrive at Shibuya Station
Japan is her new home now!
Tuesday, 7 March 2017
When I find myself stuck in the wrong story, I still try to make things work with the people I’m surrounded with. I still try to close the gap and break the walls that separate me from them. I still try to patch the holes in our broken relationships.
But sometimes, I reach a point when I grow tired of trying to seal what’s broken. I grow tired of being frustrated, angry, and upset.
When things get out of control, the easiest alternative I see is to leave and walk away. Because I don’t see the point in repairing a bond that is slowly sinking. I don’t see the reason to stay when every day my feelings are getting hurt. I don’t see why I should not quit, and start somewhere else.
In the process of walking away, I tend to hurt people, too. I act like their feelings don’t matter to me. I act like they deserve to be in pain as well. I act like all along I am the victim, and everyone else is the villain.
Eventually I realize I’m wrong, and selfish. And I apologize.
I apologize to everyone I left behind. I apologize to everyone I offended, and wounded.
I am sorry for saying what was on my mind without considering whether my argument would make someone go home with a swelling heart. I am sorry for letting down everyone who believed in my potentials. I am sorry that I still chose to leave, even though a lot of people were rooting for me to stay.
I have learned that the choices we make in our lives bring us exactly to where we are right now. I have learned that whether we make the right decision or the bad one, in the end, it teaches us to become stronger and wiser.
I have learned that time is always our number one best friend. Time helps us to heal all our wounds. Time allows us to grow in our own ways.
I realize now that I can’t completely move forward in my life if I still hang on to the bitterness that I carried from my past.
And so I have forgiven everyone I walked away from. I have forgiven myself. And I hope that you have forgiven me, too.
I hope that one day we can all come up to the conclusion that the direction everyone was expecting me to take was different from what I wanted for myself. I hope that one day, when we all look back, we remember each other for all the great times we shared, rather than the horrible ones. I hope that one day our paths will intersect, and by then I wish that we can be friends.
I have wholeheartedly accepted the place and situation that I am in right now. Slowly by slowly, I am beginning to bring back my happiness and my confidence. Slowly by slowly, my life is starting to unfold, and bring me closer to where my dreams want me to be.
I have learned to swallow my pride and admit that I am wrong. Because there is nothing sweeter than living with a light heart that is free from guilt and anger.
There is nothing better than to let go.
I have found the light that leads me to my purpose. I have found the voice that I can use to inspire people. I have found the reason to live a life that I can be proud of.
And by forgiving, I think I can genuinely smile again, starting today.
Friday, 20 May 2016
it okay to be different.
I make mistake to,
but it doesn't mean that you fail.
you just try to adjust with your new world.
and new friend.
Yes, i know you don't trust one,
but Lucy, you have to open your heart,
give them chance to prove them self
They did nothing,
They not Sharon.
I know it hard,
I was on your position before,
I truly understand what you feel now.
Remember Lucy, we are chosen by God.
God choose us because we different,
you have to remember that Lucy.
I will always in your heart.
Never left you behind.
Monday, 2 November 2015
Why Lucy don't have friend?
Because she crazy. full stop. no one want to be her friend.
no, it wrong~
Lucy don't have friend because she don't trust one.
remember when Sharon stab her back.
remember when Sharon humiliate her in front of everyone.
spread the rumors about her family.
Sharon is evil.
She look like a very sweet typical young lady.
So nice, so polite but have a rotten heart.
She is totally fake,
Friend with benefit.
She is passenger,
She want everything that Lucy have.
Wait.. now you at Lucy side?
I'm not at Lucy side or any side,
I just hate what Sharon did.
we can't simply use people for own benefit.
what Sharon did is wrong.
but what Lucy did is wrong too.
She cant kill people because she fell betrayed.
Monday, 5 October 2015
the light so bright,
the music so loud,
the people so crowded.
i seat in the middle of the hall,
what the fuck i'm doing here?
this feeling is not right.
it huge but empty.
the only thing that pop up from my head
is my stinky pillow and green blanket.
my comfort place to hide from this craziness.
i need my nap time~
going back to wonderland, meet peter pan and stay as child.
Growing up is killing me.
Saturday, 2 May 2015
Today is Lucy birthday.
Mrs. Robinson prepare cake for her.
Lucy lock herself in her room.
She hate birthday party.
She hate celebration.
She hate everything.
Like a year before Lucy lock her self in the bathroom.
Screaming all day.
but Mrs Robinson don't give up.
She still prepare cake and small party for Lucy.
Mrs Robinson make promise to Lucy's Mother
that she will prepare party for Lucy every year.
Even she know Lucy never appreciate her hard work.
After Lucy's Mother which is Mrs Amanda died.
Mrs Robinson take responsible to help Peter to take care of Lucy.
Lucy still in her room.
No sign that she will come out.
Mrs Robinson know this will happen
So she prepare Apple pie for Lucy.
Lucy love Apple pie.